Maui Quotes

Most of these are of the "You had to be there" variety; but I wanted to post this list of quotes Aubs emailed to me so we wouldn't forget them...


 Dad: Hey where'd mom go? (When Mom bent down to her suitcase at the airport table where we were having a drink)

 Mom: Ask those kids if they know where one is... (After we landed in Maui and were looking for a liquor store)

 Dad: This menu is really California.  What's Hummus dip?

 Mom: Come outside the sun is hot.

 Brad: (about pool ID bracelets) We're in room 4.... Where is it?
 Between 2 and... Damn it. Well try again tomorrow

 Random drunk guy on Lahania Street: I like people in dresses and both of them are good

 Mom: Get my upper neck
 Dad: Mom has regions of neck

 Two self-absorbed surfer dudes Dad passed while running: "Yeah man, parents are a reflection of their kids..."

 Dad lives off baby tears

 What one man can do, another can do

 We.... Aw FREE!
 "I'm free! I'm free!"

 Mandrake

 Kids swinging: Mr. Conservative, I-don't-know-I'm-too-old-for-this kids

 SPAGO
 Dad: I KNOW you guys. I gave birth to two of you.

 He was not even Podrick worthy
 - Bill " in his cups" the king



 ZIPLINING
 Shane: I don't need a cushy front seat. Im a man of the people. I'm like the new pope. AJs like the old pope.

 Shane: Yeah this is statistically the most dangerous part of the ride. That's why we have these guardrails to keep us safe. Safety third! That's our motto.  (While pointing at the white PVC pipes that snaked up the mountain side along the rode on the way up.)

 Brad: We call that the captain Morgan. Or captain crunch if you fall.
 Shane: Ooo you're hired! Be here 6:30 AM sharp tomorrow.

 Shane: Zip n dales. That's my money maker.

 Shane: I'm an author. Why is that unbelievable? I wrote an autobiography. It's called Unzipped. It's a story about The man behind the harness.

 Were all Going to Ruth's Kris's. It's all on us. ... Oh no this is
 just for the VIPs

 Shane: Hey Aubrie. Check this out. (Muscles) They say there's no snakes in
 Hawaii... Except for these pythons.

 I miss you guys.

 The story with the L is that there are other letters around the
 islands so that when you get a certain view from google Earth it spells Aloha across Hawaii. (Shane lying about the Lahania High School emblem)

 Shane: Wait WAIT!!! ....Have fun

 I don't like to use the word life and death but listen up. Ok so
 You're gonna want to put you're leg up and.....*flies off in zipline*

 Don't you ever interrupt me when I'm speaking!!! Never!! .... Just
 kidding sure I'll take a photo

 Photo bombing.

 He's the brother of the wicked witch of the west

 Don't do it!!! There's so much blood!!

 Shane: I have a better pose. When I was young I called it miss kitty.
 But now I call it miss cougar

 My dad always said girls don't like to be talked to. They like to be stared at.

 I go to bars with my helmet on. And hook myself Up to the barstool. Yeah I'm single, how'd you know?

 Now you don't know when I'm lying or telling the truth.... Doesn't that sound fun and exciting?

 I missed you. You were away too long.

 I haven't seen one that good since AJ won the Z games.... Yeah it's like the X games except with zip lining. The other difference is that the Z games don't exist.
 ... They exist in my mind

 You guys ready to go fast? Ok come on let's go!!

 Panoramic photobomb

 Wild boar

 I ordered this bouquet especially for you with all your favorite colors

 Touching mom and Aubrie neck with plant

 *arms wide open at end of zipline* that always helps the ladies
 stop on their own. Works every time. That's not so goods for my ego

 I have ADD. Oh a butterfly!

 You're gonna come in like a wrecking ball. Don't go full Miley though please

 Ok so now you can get your stuff out of the box. Or whatever we didn't sell on eBay (returning to ZipLine base camp)

 Yeah but with your income, you'll probably live two, three hundred years



 LUAU
 Are we gonna see the pig? ...are we gonna see the pig.... ARE WE GONNA SEE THE PIG??!

 Are you not entertained?!


 SCUBA (captain Dan)

 You'll notice I have the recycle bin right next to me. So I have
 easy access with all my beers. No I'm not drinking beer
 - because you're drinking whiskey!!
 That's right!

 TURTLE!!!!

 Hey you were on our scuba trip! Were you on the State Farm group?
 - I won't admit to that




 WATERFALL REPELL (rich and Dave firefighters)

 (Dad joking when Rachel asked if her helmet was on backwards)
 Dad: No it's good. It's your head that's on backwards.
 Rachel: Whoa you don't know me THAT well!

 Rich: Alright so you ready to go on the nature walk tour?
 -Josh: Gotta watch out for those coconuts (hitting helmet)

 Mom: He's naked!!!

 Dave: That's it. Find your own foot holes.


 MAMAS FISH HOUSE
 Do you like what you see mama??

 Climbing trees

 Mom:  You gotta hold it still Aubrie. Stiller... Stiller....

 Dad: We can make new one of thems Katie (about brad and Aubrie)

 You want to look into the lava tube situation?

 That's where I learned to say things that make people think I'm
 saying true things

 Is Ashley's 401k today?

 Goonies: 3 rocks

 Jurassic park
 - t Rex footprint
 - look at all that blood!
 - raptor eggs.
 - Jurassic rock
 - helicopter ride (opening to JP 3)
 - turn the lights off
 - when you gotta go you gotta go (mom in cave)
 - brad dresses as Dodson

 We need a safe word: Coconuts.

 Scraggly
 Globering

 Mom: I would like permission to get out of the car please!! (while terrified at one point on the Road to Hana)

 Where we waterfalled

 Mercedes noise wait no that sounded like a donkey at the end

 He loves flashlights

 Billy is an idiot! - dad

 Mom: We need to vote unanimously


 Deep voice: haliakala haliakala
 High voice: haliakala! Haliakala!

 All: Singing songs about the sun

 Mom: Guys I don't get to be very right very often

Aubrie: I thought I looked like Eddie vedder in that picture
 Mom: Aubrie....I have a little
 Story for you. The man you thought was your daddy...

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